Right now, I stand at a tipping point, faced with a life-altering decision that has not come easy. For the past 25 years, I have poured myself into the demanding field of forensic science, serving not just my home of Lower Bavaria, but the courts of all kinds across Europe and even the globe. Yet today, my doctor has handed me a one-stop shopping decree. I can only work within the state lines of either Baden-Württemberg or Bavaria. That leaves half the country, let alone half the world, to which I used to be able to serve, in cold storage. The struggle with this frankly life-sucking reality, which has prompted too many nights of empty lament to even amount to a quarter of a full pathetic life in my solitude, has only recently reached what feels like a platonic summit. I’m looking down into the dark depths, where I can see nothing but the shoals and mudbanks of the bottom. And there I am, thirty figures deep within the lifers’ club, and not one of them can afford to repair the gaping hole that has managed to slice right through my chest.
